Tom R
06-28-2004, 07:23 PM
Please feel free to add to this 'dictionary' ;
Pliers - those that ply the trade of applying plies of plywood
Chisel - a verbal instrument often used by cheap customers
Vice - what we all have but never mention
Mullions - what I wish I was making for installing windows
Jambing - making window and door parts while the radio is blaring
Double Hung - men with highly desirable birth defects
Stud Bolt - male bolt that gets screwed a lot
CrowBar - drinking establishment for the birds. Recognizable by 'Crappy
Hour' and 'Last Caw'
Footing - something you lose on your way out of the CrowBar
Screwdriver - half price on 'chick's night' at the CrowBar
Cranes - they drink at the CrowBar
Nailpuller - the most dangerous tool in your pouch, - if used too often can
cause 'unemployment'
Eraser - another pragmatic precursor. Use at your own risk
Ear Protection - if used in the house more than the shop, - indicates a
'nagging wife'
File - a top secret mental record of our past mistakes
File Cabinet - the whole collection of same records of 'master carpenters'
Rasp - the experienced voice of an old-time carpenter
The Jig - what we feel like doing on payday
Twist Drills - practice repetitions for guys who do a bad 'jig'
Bore - a carpenter who's all business
Carpenter Bee - a real carpenter, as opposed to a carpenter 'wanna' bee
Carpenter Ant - my Uncle's wife
Fence - the guy we buy our own tools back from
Shed - what we wish our prettiest customers would do with their clothing
Vent - the discussion with our wives about our workers
Panes - the discussion with our workers about our wives
Water Closet - what a scuba-diving gay man comes out of
Switch Plates - what I do when I suspect my wife is poisoning me (again)
Octagon - when eight workers walk off the job
Jointer - machine that rolls your pot
Planer - the other guy's work, next to mine
Screw Bit - brief appearance in a porn flick
Painter Pants - overweight painter breathing heavily
Paint Can - job changing the color of the bathroom
'Remote' Laser level - it's still at the store
Granite - what our customers often take us for
Tear-Out - frustration responsible for many a bald carpenter
Bench Dogs - second string security pets
Cedar Chest - and would like to see it again
Battery Charger - jar of Viagra
Tamper - nice tool, but when not working, causes 'tamper' tantrums
Board Foot - attaches to the end of a wooden leg, comes with toe nails
Micro-Pinner - sexually active midget
Waiting for your 'Add-Ons' Tom R
Pliers - those that ply the trade of applying plies of plywood
Chisel - a verbal instrument often used by cheap customers
Vice - what we all have but never mention
Mullions - what I wish I was making for installing windows
Jambing - making window and door parts while the radio is blaring
Double Hung - men with highly desirable birth defects
Stud Bolt - male bolt that gets screwed a lot
CrowBar - drinking establishment for the birds. Recognizable by 'Crappy
Hour' and 'Last Caw'
Footing - something you lose on your way out of the CrowBar
Screwdriver - half price on 'chick's night' at the CrowBar
Cranes - they drink at the CrowBar
Nailpuller - the most dangerous tool in your pouch, - if used too often can
cause 'unemployment'
Eraser - another pragmatic precursor. Use at your own risk
Ear Protection - if used in the house more than the shop, - indicates a
'nagging wife'
File - a top secret mental record of our past mistakes
File Cabinet - the whole collection of same records of 'master carpenters'
Rasp - the experienced voice of an old-time carpenter
The Jig - what we feel like doing on payday
Twist Drills - practice repetitions for guys who do a bad 'jig'
Bore - a carpenter who's all business
Carpenter Bee - a real carpenter, as opposed to a carpenter 'wanna' bee
Carpenter Ant - my Uncle's wife
Fence - the guy we buy our own tools back from
Shed - what we wish our prettiest customers would do with their clothing
Vent - the discussion with our wives about our workers
Panes - the discussion with our workers about our wives
Water Closet - what a scuba-diving gay man comes out of
Switch Plates - what I do when I suspect my wife is poisoning me (again)
Octagon - when eight workers walk off the job
Jointer - machine that rolls your pot
Planer - the other guy's work, next to mine
Screw Bit - brief appearance in a porn flick
Painter Pants - overweight painter breathing heavily
Paint Can - job changing the color of the bathroom
'Remote' Laser level - it's still at the store
Granite - what our customers often take us for
Tear-Out - frustration responsible for many a bald carpenter
Bench Dogs - second string security pets
Cedar Chest - and would like to see it again
Battery Charger - jar of Viagra
Tamper - nice tool, but when not working, causes 'tamper' tantrums
Board Foot - attaches to the end of a wooden leg, comes with toe nails
Micro-Pinner - sexually active midget
Waiting for your 'Add-Ons' Tom R