Deadbolts

[mjpliv]

True storey from my retail days -

A guy came running into the store one day, seemingly perplexed about something and clearly in a hurry. He charged up to the counter and asked me " Do you have any deadbolts?".

I have no idea what made me say this (other that being a complete smart ass at the best of times) but I looked at him and with a straight face said "No, we don't. But we have a few coughing up blood if you care to wait a few minutes".

For several seconds he just stared back at me and I wasn't entirely sure he wouldn't hit the roof. But after a moment or two he started to smile and then laugh, forgetting about whatever was on his mind when he came into the store.

And I have been waiting twenty years to use that line again!

[Rich]

HAHA.. classic.
Similar one-liner. I was a kid and was floating the river. I had to walk through the DA's yard to get back to the road. I was tired and didn't want to walk around. So I and another kid started across.
He stopped us about halfway through and says "Who are you Jokers?" I looked right at him and said "Umm.. we're not Jokers.. I'm Batman".
I just kept walking and didn't look back.

[papakapp]

I heard something like that when I told a hardware store clerk I heeded a couple redhead's

I am not entirely sure she knew what a redhead was...

[speedyox]

A roommate of mine was swiping some toilet paper from a school bathroom and the janitor walked in and saw him. He looked at her, then at his backpack full of toilet paper and then yelled, "Look! It's the goodyear blimp!" and ran away.

[plunkinberry]

Papakapp, I don't know what redheads are either... except the one I'm married to.

[DGoodbrand]

Thats a whitty one liner, some good quick thinking

[Adrian]

I like that one....Those are classics that just catch everyone off guard.

Similar to the time I was standing behind a couple buying a load of home reno stuff, and the cashier asks if they found everything ok. Well the wife says yes, except they couldn't find the stud finders. Before the the cashier could respond, I took it upon myself to inform her that when I walked past isle 10, the stud finders just went off like crazy.

I got a laugh from her, but the husband not so much.

It's been 10 years and hundreds of trips to the lumber store - never have I had the opportunity again.